Tuesday, July 30, 2013

5 Youtube Channels Probably Run By The Insane



It is said the internet is a never ending cesspool of mystery.  But the concept that the “Internet has no end” is fairly new.  It wasn't long ago that no amount of DOS prompt or surfing would uncover anything exciting outside of the Ultimate Showdown and a very gay Spiderman.  But screw that; it's 2013 now.  The net is chock full of content to waste your valuable little lives on.   

The internet is the world's microphone; it is so easy for anyone to get up and speak when the whole world is tuned in to listen.  With the digital generation currently taking over, everyone wants the opportunity to share their thoughts and creativity.  The best part is the anonymity.  You don't have to share your identity if you want to say or do something completely whacked online.  Which if you think about it can be pretty creepy, as some of these speakers could be really touched in the head.  Just like Lewis and Clark, Uncle Jeffrey has patrolled one of the most popular mediums of expression, Youtube, and has come up with some of the craziest speakers out there.  Without further ado, Allow me to share with you my top 5 favorite Youtube channels probably run by the insane.


5. ShayeSaintJohn

ShayeSaintJohn has been an Internet personality for years and is an expert in the field of whatthefuckology.  But you would be lying to yourself if you didn’t admit to having even the slightest tingle creep down your spine when first popping your ShayeSaintJohn cherry.  Every one of his videos is a combination of the bizarre and the macabre (just like me) and yet, like a good ol’ train wreck, you just can’t look away.  He has in his repertoire a creepy arm gimmick, which makes his arm look like it can float away from his body.  A simple illusion to be sure, but an effective one.  I highly recommend keeping your eyes open for the next of this man’s videos.  He may be insane, but he is a lot of fun being it.

4. Adolfo Mateo


This man, on the other hand, is no fun at all.  He just sits there smoking his pipe all day.  But he films himself and posts it to youtube, so you can have a smoking buddy when you don’t have any real friends to smoke with.  No, really, His videos are just of him smoking his old pipe wearing slightly different outfits in each video, grumbling inaudibly the whole time.  And he’s posted over two thousand videos of just that.  There is little to no rewatch value; after seeing the first five seconds of one, you’ve seen them all.  But just like the little engine that could, he keeps on posting his bizarre smoking videos.  And I commend him for it, as should you.  Here’s to you Adolfo Mateo, the world wheezes an anticipated and smoke filled gasp of excitement for your next youtube production.

3. Nasajim108


Have you got a spare tin hat handy?  You may want to put it on after taking a gander at what this man has to show you.  If he is a man at all. 

In July of 2008, Nasajim108 uploaded the first of many creepy videos, asserting to expose the truth about the Illuminati and the government’s involvement with extraterrestrials.  He claims to be a dyeing former NASA employee who has met with the Alien Greys while on the job.  According to nasajim108, there is a highly intelligent subterranean species of aliens living on Mars right now that are tied deeply into the doings of the government.  

He likens his channel to a digital deathbed confession, shedding light on the sinister agenda of the government and the aliens that inhabit the White House.  In his videos, he shares an audio recording of an alien, a hypnotic tool used to probe the sleeping mind of a human, and lots of other weird extraterrestrial things that leave you scratching your head in disbelief.  Nasajim108 is not first ex government employee to preach the existence of aliens and I doubt he will be the last.  But is his particular message of death and horror from beyond the stars legit?  Or is he just a troll looking to play with innocent dopes that stumble across his channel?  The world may never know.

2. Alantutorial


Probably my favorite channel on this list is Alantutorial.  Alan is a simple man who only wishes to teach you neat life hacks through a series of video tutorials on youtube.  At heart, Alan is a lover of his fellow man and a helper of the bored and bewildered.  But he is also completely out of his mind.  None of Alan’s tutorials have ever taught how to do anything.  They are all bizarre and some of them very creepy to watch.  Don’t believe me?  Take a gander at his video, “How To Make A Double Barrel WWII Italian Fighter Plane Origami Paper Art”.  Besides the fact that he doesn’t go beyond folding the sheet of paper in half, the entire time a mysterious and ominous knocking coming from the front door keeps interrupting him.  Despite his attempts to call out to the individual on the other side, there is never a response, just more knocking.  Not to say Alan is ever able to concentrate when there isn’t a mysterious knocking at his front door.   In his video on how to pick up a blue chair off the ground, he struggles to keep his composure since he is balling his eyes out and doesn't even accomplish the simple task of lifting a chair off the ground.  There is even evidence that Alan is a murderer.  In his video "AlanVideo.mp4 Tutorial", he walks around the street with blood on his hands and with his camera, shows a giant splash of blood on the pavement next to a jagged rock.  Since his last video on “How To Change”, in which he lights a chair on fire and chops away at it with an axe, he has stopped making his famous tutorials and presumably died from forth degree burns or disappeared to a higher plane of existence.  However, die-hard fans continue to hope and pray for his sweet, unholy return.  For this man is not a man, he is a god; a god of tutorials.  And we all anxiously wait for his resurrection.

1. The Molly Holly Stalker



This individual does not have just one youtube channel; he has many.  He also has a website and a twitter page all dedicated to defacing the good name of WWE wrestler Nora “Molly Holly” Greenwald.    Now I don’t actually know if this guy is only one guy, nor do I know if he is even a guy at all, but whoever is posting these videos is holding some serious hate for the young female wrestler and her current husband, whom he constantly refers to as a drug dealer.  Each channel has at least one video but they are all filled with anger induced drivel accusing Molly Holly of everything from lying about her virginity to being an all around terrible person.  What makes these videos so crazy is that no one is talking about them.  One of the videos depicts a man with a giant collection of Molly Holly action figures, throwing them in the dumpster (along with what I assume is a sports bra of Molly Holly’s) with a threatening caption saying how she messed with the wrong person.  This man got it all on film, put it online and no one is addressing how creepy this is?  It makes me wonder if anyone ever tried to address it before and was quietly taken out to the back of the woodshed for disposal.  I tell you, after watching a good portion of these videos; I sure would hate to be Molly Holly.  Nor would I want to be the dumb schmuck who tries to call attention to this obviously insane person…wait…shit…

Here is a quote taken from the website: http://www.knowthetruthng.com/

Fun facts about Nora Greenwald: 1. She lied about being a virgin. 2. She screwed people out of charity donations that went to her pocket "in the name of christ" (ask the donators). 3. She sabotaged Malia Hosaka's career. 4. She's anorexic and broke these days with a pill habit and tried to sell her used underwear for cash. 5. A Dr. diagnosed her as a pathological lying sociopath. 6. She associates with low lifes including her husband who robbed a church. *So much for sweet innocent Molly Holly.*"

Here are some of the youtube channels made to slander this woman…there are definitely more.  Give them a watch and relish in the insanity of it all. 

NoragreenwaldSCAMMER
Mollyhollygreenwald
Noragreenwaldisacunt
MollyHollyFRAUD
norabenshoof
mollyhollynorawwe
mollyhollyCRACKWHORE
noragreenwaldCULTIST
Rawkatty
Bolescreekwrestling
thestandardMS
jackthaddeusisGOD
ChrisBenoitMurders07
DrJaniceWheeler
MrJackThaddeus
Eugenebenshoof
ChriMurderer Benoit
Therealclydecash
07ChrisBenoitMURDERS
TeenChallengeCULT
ForestLakeAlerts

1 comment:

  1. omg, great blog and shares, thank you so much, am stuck on Alan the Tutorial master right now, just wow. The internet is a cesspool of mystery indeed! Your writing is awesome & hilarious!

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